Everyone has their own fantasy. You know, something that you secretly want even though if it actually happened you would have to pretend to hate it, you know, to make it real, and that act in itself makes you hate it, because often times if you pretend to feel a certain way, in no time you actually feel that way. Think, act, feel. Think how you want to feel, act how you would act if you felt that way, and then eventually you'll actually feel that way.
I feel like I am weird beyond belief and I wish I never had that dream. All of my dreams are vivid and weird, but this dream was stretching the limit. The dream took place give or take a week ago and I still can't stop thinking about it. I mean, when I woke up, for about five minutes, maybe more, I thought it actually happened, that it wasn't a dream, and even as I fell back asleep I was confused, startled, but eventually I fell back asleep and the dream continued. Eventually it kind-of-sort-of turned into lucid dreaming. I know you guys must hate me for rambling on about this without saying what it actually means or what the dream was about but I just can't tell anyone that, and I need to write how I feel so I can make sense of my emotions.
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